Week 6 Reading Response 1

In the cartoon by Dean Camp called “Pricey” it shows a running track leading the finish line called “College”, with clouds and hills, there is a boy running in the distance that looks exhausted, and a boy flying over the finish line with a jet pack that states “Weekly Tutor: $1,000”, shoes with wings that state “SAT Classes: $550” and “Summer Program: $3,000”. The whole point of the cartoon is the bubble that says “Getting Accepted Into College of Choice: Pricey.” In the cartoon Camp shows that many students who want to go to college struggle, unless they have money. Most times a student does not have access to use such programs such as “SAT Class”, “Summer Programs”, and weekly “Tutors” this makes the point that going to college of choice “Pricey”. All of the things that were mentioned make the cartoon “Pricey” a debate about affirmative action, meaning that their should be more of an effort to promote the rights, or progress of disadvantaged people. Even with scholarships out there, it is still difficult for a disadvantaged student to receive any help. With all the jobs that need proper education, college should not be so expensive. When I got accepted to The Art Institute of Seattle during my senior year of high school, I did not think that it was going to be so difficult to pay for. I would be the first person in my family to go to college for a degree, but my family was not able to help with much expenses. The Art Institute of Seattle was very expensive and I was not able to attend as of the time being. I believe that schooling should be less difficult to afford or schools should think about more approaches for the costs.

Week 6 Response: Paraphrasing and Plagiarism

Paraphrasing is very important to pay attention to in your writing. No one should ever copy as sentence directly from the source. When a sentence is directly from the source, it limit’s the knowledge from that is learned for the person uses it on the topic. Plagiarism is a very serious issue to pay attention to in your writing. To avoid plagiarism one must always give credit to the source that it was found from. Even when one puts quotations around the used information, they must still credit the source. I understand plagiarism and paraphrasing very well.

Week 6 Reading Response 2

In “Who’s a Looter? In Storms Aftermath, Pictures Kick Up a Different Kind of Tempest” Tania Ralli writes about the issue of discriminating photographs taken during Hurricane Katrina. The pictures were highly debatable. The first photography was of a black man wading through chest deep water, carrying a Pepsi box and a full garbage bag, he was considered to be ‘looting’. The second photograph was a white couple carrying food in the same water but were considered to be ‘finding’ food.

The first photo that was of the black man was taken by Dave Martin a photographer from the Associated Press stated that he saw the man taking food out of a grocery store. The second photo was by Chris Graythen from Getty Images stated that he saw the white couple found the food in the vicinity of a grocery store. The photos created a huge controversy that boiled down to racism. Before going on assignment to the photographers for the Associated Press gave guidelines to distinguish the difference in ‘looting’ and of ‘finding’, they were told that if a person comes out of a store with goods with them that it would be considered ‘looting’. Because the man in the first photography was black and considered to be looting made that a big issue; whereas the white couple was said to have walked out of a grocery store and was labeled as finding food. Both of the situations where the same except for the color of their skin. Mr. Graythen who took the second photo stated that he did not see the couple emerge from the store, even though the door was left open and food was floating around. Mr. Graythen saw the act of finding food as a means of survival.

During Katrina I clearly remember the media being discriminating towards African Americans, they would always point out blacks that were looting, but never said anything about the white people. Their were helicopters flying in food for the survivors, but that could take hours to get to the people. Since that process of receiving food could take so long the people who survived were on their own to survive, so it makes logical sense to take food from a store. The stores were flooded to begin with, and by the time the water was gone most of the left over food would not be consumable. I believe that the Associated Press was at fault and was racist. I do not think that the people should have been considered looting, unless it was jewelry or any other outrageous item. Katrina was a huge disaster and the media discriminated all African Americans that were affected by Hurricane Katrina

Week 5 Reading Response 3

In “Public Service Campaigns Use Language to Send a Message” The National Youth Anti-Drug Media Campaign uses teenagers in their advertisements to get across to their audience. The audience for this campaign are many teenagers of every race, couples, sports players, and anyone who can relate to the advertisement. The advertisements are directly addressing teenagers. In the first add which the use "courage" as the anti-drug a couple is used, they use the girl as being concerned about him using illegal drugs and her telling him how she feels about his use of drug because she cares. In the second add the use a little girls bike tire that have been hit by a car; the anti-drug they used was regret, they show that by smoking weed and then driving that you do stupid things, like hit a six-year-old on her bicycle. The third add is “I am my anti-drug”, they use a guy explaining that he is labeled as a “drugged out loser”, but in reality he is an uncle, a thinker, and a rugby player. In the fourth add which is another “I am my anti-drug” they use a girl who people could possibly scan as another pot smoking teenager, but in reality she is an artist, a therapist, and a kick boxer. The fifth add is another “I am my anti-drug” , they use a guy who states that he is filed under a pothead, but in reality he is a writer, and a halfback. Each of these adds use a different race (excluding the second add) so that there is no stereotyping, and each of them have different interests. I find that add two would be the most effective, I believe that by using a little girls bicycle tire that they get more of a point across about the affects of doing illegal drugs. Over all I believe that this sort of argument could be effective to its audience, especially since they do not stereotype one person. But at the same time in school their were a lot of kids that played sports and were on the honor roll who did drugs.

Week 5 Reading Response 2

In “Skin-Deep: What Polls of Minorities Miss” David Bositis examines minority group poll results. Bositis states that opinion polls fail to adequately sample minority population. When a minority is inadequately polled they encourage stereotypes about the minority at a large.

In Bositis’s argument he proposes the group whether it’s a news group or organization do not accurately poll the minority. Bositis finds that when minorities are polled that they are not a reliable source of opinion, because the group that does the poll does not poll a large amount of the minority. The minority polls are most often extremely risky and misleading, when the poll is reporting on crime, police misconduct, and elections. In the argument Bositis concludes that the polls that there are large margins of error in conducting minority polling, which shows that polling does not meet correct criteria; thus, making his argument a evaluative argument. Bositis finds that to achieve a valid minority poll is to poll more of the minorities population and to take the polling effort to the local level where people understand the views that they do or do not share. This finding also make Bositis argument a proposal argument.

Bositis makes a valid argument and covered his research polling very well. With his finding Bositis proves that the media does not take into consideration minority opinions as whole, which can discriminate the minorities. Minorities are often misunderstood by the media, this is why there is so many stereotypes and the racism is a never ending problem. If opinion polls correctly poll the minorities their would not be so many problems in the media with minorities and minorities would have equal treatment in the polling.

Week 5 Reading Response 1

In “Can We Talk?” Deborah Tannen describes and analyzes mother and daughter interactions. Tanner goes into talking about the mixed emotions that take place when a mother and a daughter communicate. Tanner describes why a mother and a daughter would have troubled moments.

A mother and daughter relationship can have a great bond that can not be found in any other relationship. But a relationship that involves such a close bond has many mixed emotions. Tannen talks about times that their can be a great level of comfort in the mother/daughter relationship; although, there are also times that there are hurt feelings that are caused from disappointing remarks or even a meaningless argument. Tannen states that when a relationship is so close that the mother or daughter tend to have the feeling that they no longer have control in their own life; this takes place when one person is trying to take an action intended in the spirit of connection. Tannen brings up meta-messages which is usually meant to be taken sarcastically. Meta-messages can often be seen in mother/daughter relationships.

I believe that Tannen is correct in her writing. In my experience with my mom who I am very close with, we often have those hurt feelings that Tannen was explaining. I think that in many mother/daughter relationships they have the same problem. I have noticed these experiences when I think about my high school days when she felt that I was doing something that I should have not been doing. I do believe that a mother/son relationship is sometimes the same way, especially if their father figure in not around. Every daughter and mother should think about why the other said what they said.

Week 5: Lead Sentence

http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1879241,00.html

The lead that I picked is a delayed lead. I really enjoyed this lead and it made me laugh because I have walked through a swarm of gnats a countless number of times and I absolutely hate it. The lead that the author chose was great idea to grab the readers attention.

Essay 1 Final Draft

America is a sex crazed country and sadly sex sells. Sex sells in advertising, entertainment, and in businesses. Models, strippers, showgirls, burlesque dancers, and prostitutes; they all have one thing in common, they use their body to make them money. Out of that list prostitution is the only one that is illegal excluding in Nevada. Prostitution is one of the worlds oldest professions and can be found in every culture. Although prostitution is seen as degrading, controlled prostitution is a good idea to make legal throughout America because it would create a safer environment for the women, crime rates would reduce, and viruses would decrease .


In order to control prostitution their must be brothels put in place, that would be regulated by the states government. As of right now Nevada has ten counties that allow legal prostitution. In Nevada a law states that any county with the population less than 400,000 the residents can vote whether or not it wants legalized prostitution in its county lines. After a county decides to legalize prostitution if a person wants to open a brothel they must first require a business license from the county sheriff and pay a license fee which varies with the county and are still required to pay the county taxes. When prostitutes register into a brothel they get regular health check ups for sexually transmitted diseases that the brothel owners pay for that are weekly for STDs and monthly for HIV and condoms are mandatory. It is also the owners duty by statute NRS 41.1397 that before employing a women that the owner needs to receive an HIV test.

By having legalized brothels prostitutes would have the freedom and the security of being able to reject any client that they would not like to work with. Because brothels are usually in rural areas, they are away from the cities and neighborhoods, which takes away the unwanted environment that include drugs, and crime. When brothels have a license no girls under the age of eighteen would be allowed to prostitute themselves in a brothel, this would take away any under age girls from being trafficked. By being in a safe environment the prostitutes would be safe from any violence such as assault and rape, that could possibly take place with street prostitution, because they do not have the security that brothels have. Police officers are more obligated to work with license brothels and file reports, where as when they work with street prostitutes the girls are left on their own or they risk getting arrested being that street prostitution is illegal. When women register at the brothel they can state if they want to be full time or part time meaning they go into the business being able to freely quit at anytime, prostitutes would not have the be scared of their “pimp” coming after them for wanting to leave or being forced to stay. Most often street prostitutes are forced into the position. With legal controlled prostitution a women who is interested in the business can apply for the position at a brothel.

Why should adult shows be legal and controlled prostitution be illegal when both of them are used to make money. Prostitution has been around for ages and has been accepted and not accepted throughout the decades. Every town and city has that one street that has it’s street prostitutes and there is usually a neighborhood close by. Because street prostitution involves so many illegal acts, such as drugs and under age trafficking, making licensed brothels would create a safe alternative to street prostitution. By having health check ups in the brothels it would reduce the spread of sexually transmitted diseases that would be spread to people that would pick up a prostitute on the street. Being able to legalize controlled prostitution would create a good revenue for the state, and the men and women could safely take place in the profession.





http://www.leg.state.nv.us/nrs/NRS-244.html#NRS244Sec345
http://www.associatedcontent.com/article/906197/nevadas_legal_brothels.html
http://www.leg.state.nv.us/nrs/NRS-041.html#NRS041Sec1397

Week 4: Grammar Girl Response. Proofreading Tips

Proofreading is very important. In Grammar Girls “Proofreading Tips” she talks about reading over your work, and even after proofreading you still miss typos. Grammar girl gives some good tips about how to proofread better and what could happen if do not proofread.

Grammar Girl mentioned the Bank of Kazakhstan released noted that had bank misspelled when can cause a lot of problems when the note is in circulation. The tips that Grammar Girl used were to read your work backwards which makes it less likely to pass over typos that you would pass over reading correctly, read out loud which allows you to catch your typos in speaking, always read a printed version of your writing because it is easier to read a piece of paper than on a computer screen thus allowing you to catch more errors, and the last one was to give yourself more time instead of reading it right away you give your brain a chance to refresh.

I really enjoyed this episode of Grammar Girl. In middle school I used to proofread backwards and it worked very well, but over the years I forgot about that tip. Reading out loud always worked well for especially when I did not have access to a printer to read my writing on paper, which she mentioned in her tips. When she mentioned to give yourself some time before you proofread made me realize that I always proofread right away. Grammar Girl mentioned that with newspapers they have the editors proofread it and I remember when I wrote for my high school newspaper that it always helped to have more than one person proofread my paper.

Week 4: Part 1 response. New Yorker Cartoons

In “Women and Men Speaking in New Yorker Cartoons” cartoons show the communication barriers between heterosexual couples. It is portrayed that in a sense that men and women speak a different language. The difference in the way men and woman communicate has been a topic for decades. Using cartoons to show the difference of communication in men and women is a good example But there are different ways to show that men and women communicate differently.


In everyday life you can see what is portrayed in the cartoons, you see it in grocery stores, at work, at school, and at the movies. The advantage of using heterosexual couples in the cartoons is that people can relate to it. A disadvantage of using adult heterosexual couples to portray the communication differences with men and woman is that a stereotype can be placed on both sexes. Their are different ways that communication between men and women could be portrayed. It would probably also be good to use children because in the “cootie stage” is were communication with both sexes begin. Another idea would be to use a mother with a teenage son and a father with a teenage daughter. A cartoon could have a teenager girl trying to go out on her first date but using a false excuse and the father giving a silly reason to say no, which would throw off the daughter.

Over all I think that the cartoons in “Women and Men Speaking in New Yorker Cartoons” a valid way to depict the difference in communication. Many people can relate to the cartoons on different levels. The topic of men and women communication will be around for a long time.

Week Four: Part Two Response. Exporting America

In other cultures you can find American fast food, entertainment, and products. These photographs show that many other cultures have embraced the American culture. Some of these advertisements I can be proud of and some not so proud of. McDonalds and Marlboro I am not so proud of, these two products that tend to get looked down on in our society at times and I believe that they should not be spread to developing nations, being that they are very unhealthy. As far a Nike goes it is a material object which Americans are fond of, but at the same time materialism is disgusting and can tend to mislead people. I do not agree with advertising to many material items in other cultures, because most cultures do not hold material items of high value and I think that is a beautiful thing. But at the same time there are material items from other cultures that might be good to embrace in America, this might give Americans more respect for other cultures. I can say that I am proud of Coca-Cola, Pepsi, Disneyland, and “Titanic“. Disneyland makes many people happy and tourists come from other countries to visit the ones in America, so I believe that by spreading Disneyland to other countries is a great idea. “Titanic” is an amazing movie and I feel that it is good that American movies can be found in other cultures; but at the same time when you look at our culture kids feel as though they need to look like the people in the movies, which I do not think is something that needs to be spread throughout the world. Coca-Cola and Pepsi are great products and other cultures have good soda pop that I wish would be advertised in America. Looking at these photographs made me realize that Americans do not embrace other cultures as much as we should. You can find other cultures products at stores like “World Market” but you can not find these products elsewhere. Other cultures have so many products, and entertainment that I feel that America should learn to embrace.

Response to Grammar Girl

Who would have thought that their was a spunky pod cast for writing. Grammar Girl seems like a great tool to use for online classes and in everyday writing. While listening and reading “When to use a Comma with “too,” ” I realized that I did not know that their were so many different ways to use the word “too” and I never thought about the impact a comma would have on the word. I have always put “too” at the end of sentences. I forgot that you can put “too” in different part of a sentence. Listening to this pod cast really opened my eyes about how commas can help the word “too”. I am glad that transitional adverbs were mentioned in the pod cast. Transitional adverbs are my favorite, I love using “therefore” and “however”; which I tend to use in my writing most of the time, and I find that I often use a comma with those two words. “When to use a Comma with “too” was a good refresher course for me. When I went through my old writing I found that I could use commas in different spots, and that I sometimes use a comma in the wrong spot, or somewhere that it is not needed in a sentence.

Response to Ken Ealy' s Rough Draft

Audience:
1. So the way I see is your audience either knows about your subject or doesn’t I am not to sure about that one.
2. I believe that the audience will agree with you for the most part. You use good some good examples but I do not really see the you comparing the two-stroke with what I am guessing is to a four-stroke. You sentences seem to misplaced. I think that you should go a little bit more into comparing. You mentioned four-strokes in paragraphs 5 and 6 which is good.

Reason:
1. You state that a two-stroke is powerful, reliable, and economical to operate.
2. Your reasons are stated in your thesis as well as in your body.
3. To strengthen your reasons you should probably state what the difference is with the four-stroke. Besides what you stated in the 6th paragraph.

Counterargument:
1.Your counterarguments were listed in sentence 4 of paragraph 5, and sentence 3 of paragraph 6.
2. You only have two counterarguments.
3. I do not believe that you adequately addressed the counterarguments.
4. Address more counterargument in the powerfulness, reliability, and the economical reasons of the four-stroke. Doing that will pull it more together.

Flow/Transitions:
1. Each paragraph does expand on the thesis.
2. The paragraphs do not flow very well. They all seem that they are missing something.
3. To organize it better I think that you could go through each paragraph and try to make some sentences more complete, instead of sentences that stand alone . I think doing that it will make it more understandable.
4. I would re-word the sentence about Dugald Clerk. The sentence comes out of nowhere, having that sentence after your thesis even though they are separated makes it confusing. I think that paragraph should be placed within the paragraphs that they belong to. Before you mention “Outboard motors on boats were developed” might be a good spot to talk about the inventor, but I would not start with Ole maybe start with in 1909.

Introduction and Conclusion:
1. You have no catchy sentence to start your essay . You have to have one before the thesis On page C2-a in “A Writers Reference” it has what you can use for that. I do not think it would be good to start your essay with your thesis, even though it can be.
2. Your conclusion seems fine, as long as you fix your body with the counterarguments.

Essay 1 Rough Draft

America is a sex crazed country and sadly sex sells. Sex sells in advertising, entertainment, and in businesses. Models, strippers, showgirls, burlesque dancers, and prostitutes; they all have one thing in common, they use their body to make them money. Out of that list prostitution is the only one that is illegal excluding in Nevada and Rhode Island. Prostitution is one of the worlds oldest professions and can be found in every culture. Although prostitution is seen as degrading, controlled prostitution is a good idea to make legal throughout America because it would create a safer environment for the women, sex crime rates would decrease, and viruses would decrease.


In order to control prostitution their must be brothels put in place, which would need to have a business license. When prostitutes register into a brothel they get regular health check ups for sexually transmitted diseases and condoms are mandatory. By having legalized brothels prostitutes would have the freedom and the security of being able to have health care and reject any client that they would not like to work with. Because brothels are usually in rural areas they are away from the cities and neighborhoods, which takes away the unwanted environment that include drugs, and crime. Because brothels have a license no girls under the age of eighteen would be allowed to prostitute themselves in a brothel, this would take away any under age girls from being trafficked. By being in a safe are the prostitutes would be safe from any violence such as assault and rape, that would normally take place with street prostitution . Police officers are more obligated to work with license brothels and file reports, where as when they work with street prostitutes the girls are left on their own or they risk getting arrested being that prostitution is illegal. When women register at the brothel they can state if they want to be full time or part time meaning they go into the business being able to freely quit at anytime, prostitutes would not have the be scared of their “pimp” coming after them for wanting to leave. Another plus that can be seen in brothels is that narcotics are not allowed on the premises of the brothel.

Why should adult shows be legal and controlled prostitution be illegal when both of them in some way degrade women. Prostitution has been around for ages and has been accepted and not accepted throughout the decades. Every town and city has that one street that has it’s street prostitutes and there is usually a neighborhood close by. Because street prostitution involves so many illegal acts, such as drugs and under age trafficking, making licensed brothels would create a safe alternative to street prostitution. Although prostitution is seen as unprincipled and degrading, controlled prostitution would be good to make legal throughout America in order to create a safer environment for the women because with normal prostitution sex crime rates would increase, viruses would freely spread, and street prostitution would continue to create an unsafe and unwanted environments in social areas as well as in neighborhoods.

Week 3 Response

In “Shitty First Drafts” Anne Lamotts writing style vividly makes her point about the frustrations in writing the first draft. Lamott explains the feelings that she goes through when she starts writing. Every writer goes through the frustrations that Lamott writes about in her essay.
Lamott goes into talking about how people think that writing is so simple. Lamott writes “the fantasy of the uninitiated” which means that these people think that writers write the work in one shot and what they write is good to go and get published. The people who think that are usually inexperienced with writing. In reality when writer sits down to write they usually hit a writers block and do not know where to start, and this is where the get their “shitty first draft”. Lamott talks about the process of writing the first draft as the “child’s draft” meaning that you will shape it later; as if the paper is a child that needs help in order to grow up. Lamott learned that the process of the first draft was something that was going to happen no matter what, and just accepted that her first draft was not going to be the best. Yet at the same time she still wanted that first draft to be perfect.
Every writer has the first draft expectations that they do not meet, which lead to the second draft. In order to write a writer must start from scratch and then fix the errors. The first draft is always the worst to write, I usually do not know where to start, not happy with the first sentence, and get the sentences in a paragraph backwards. But without the rough draft their would be nothing but an empty space. No matter how long you have been writing their will always be that “shitty first draft” that you toss in the paper shredder and put in the recycle bin. Lamotts essay opened my eyes about the first draft that I always get frustrated with. She made it very easy to read without dragging on.

Week 2 Response

In “Advertising Sets Double Standard for the Male Gender” William Sea argues that in advertising, men in today’s culture are stereotyped as to feminine. In most advertising the company shows men as metro-sexual and use their product to make men more masculine. To prove his point Sea explains valid commercials in which men are portrayed as feminine. He states that in today’s advertising companies are being sexist toward today’s culture.

For Seas first advertising commercial example he uses Miller Brewing Company’s commercial “Milwaukee’s Best Light.” In each commercial they use a group of men that see one man doing something “feminine” following that scene a big beer bottle is dropped on the traitor, followed by the tag line “ Men should act like men, and light beer should taste like beer.” This commercial is a good example of how today’s advertising is sexist towards men. In very few other commercials they show men being more feminine, which is fought back with the commercials that tell me to be more masculine. Sea also makes the point that in every commercial where a woman is portrayed as a sex object, there is also an offensive portrayal of a man that cant help but ogle at a good looking woman.

In Seas argument he supported his claims well by using examples of advertising that proved that companies were stereotyping men. In today’s culture men are more feminine, but they have the freedom to be what they want. Sea does not agree with the fact that advertising wants men to be more masculine. By stating that women have been the victim of sexism as well he shows how companies handle advertising, by bringing out a insecurity in a man or woman making them want to buy the product being advertised in order to meet the standard in the media.