Response to Ken Ealy' s Rough Draft

Audience:
1. So the way I see is your audience either knows about your subject or doesn’t I am not to sure about that one.
2. I believe that the audience will agree with you for the most part. You use good some good examples but I do not really see the you comparing the two-stroke with what I am guessing is to a four-stroke. You sentences seem to misplaced. I think that you should go a little bit more into comparing. You mentioned four-strokes in paragraphs 5 and 6 which is good.

Reason:
1. You state that a two-stroke is powerful, reliable, and economical to operate.
2. Your reasons are stated in your thesis as well as in your body.
3. To strengthen your reasons you should probably state what the difference is with the four-stroke. Besides what you stated in the 6th paragraph.

Counterargument:
1.Your counterarguments were listed in sentence 4 of paragraph 5, and sentence 3 of paragraph 6.
2. You only have two counterarguments.
3. I do not believe that you adequately addressed the counterarguments.
4. Address more counterargument in the powerfulness, reliability, and the economical reasons of the four-stroke. Doing that will pull it more together.

Flow/Transitions:
1. Each paragraph does expand on the thesis.
2. The paragraphs do not flow very well. They all seem that they are missing something.
3. To organize it better I think that you could go through each paragraph and try to make some sentences more complete, instead of sentences that stand alone . I think doing that it will make it more understandable.
4. I would re-word the sentence about Dugald Clerk. The sentence comes out of nowhere, having that sentence after your thesis even though they are separated makes it confusing. I think that paragraph should be placed within the paragraphs that they belong to. Before you mention “Outboard motors on boats were developed” might be a good spot to talk about the inventor, but I would not start with Ole maybe start with in 1909.

Introduction and Conclusion:
1. You have no catchy sentence to start your essay . You have to have one before the thesis On page C2-a in “A Writers Reference” it has what you can use for that. I do not think it would be good to start your essay with your thesis, even though it can be.
2. Your conclusion seems fine, as long as you fix your body with the counterarguments.