Week 5 Reading Response 1

In “Can We Talk?” Deborah Tannen describes and analyzes mother and daughter interactions. Tanner goes into talking about the mixed emotions that take place when a mother and a daughter communicate. Tanner describes why a mother and a daughter would have troubled moments.

A mother and daughter relationship can have a great bond that can not be found in any other relationship. But a relationship that involves such a close bond has many mixed emotions. Tannen talks about times that their can be a great level of comfort in the mother/daughter relationship; although, there are also times that there are hurt feelings that are caused from disappointing remarks or even a meaningless argument. Tannen states that when a relationship is so close that the mother or daughter tend to have the feeling that they no longer have control in their own life; this takes place when one person is trying to take an action intended in the spirit of connection. Tannen brings up meta-messages which is usually meant to be taken sarcastically. Meta-messages can often be seen in mother/daughter relationships.

I believe that Tannen is correct in her writing. In my experience with my mom who I am very close with, we often have those hurt feelings that Tannen was explaining. I think that in many mother/daughter relationships they have the same problem. I have noticed these experiences when I think about my high school days when she felt that I was doing something that I should have not been doing. I do believe that a mother/son relationship is sometimes the same way, especially if their father figure in not around. Every daughter and mother should think about why the other said what they said.